Creating a bond with your cat or kitten lays the foundation for years of companionship and love. Begin the befriending process by showing confidence and security, then progress to solidifying the connection through continuous affection, communication, and positive interactions. In no time, you'll experience the wonderful love of your feline friend.
Whether you've adopted an adult cat, are trying to befriend a stranger cat, or hope that your friend's or partner's cat will like you, the process is the same. Act slowly, lower yourself to the cat's level, and offer it positive attention. Here's the basic process:
Approach slowly. Cats are cautious of change and new people. They have developed trust in familiar places, people, and routines. When something out of the ordinary happens, they act prudently to ensure their safety and make sure their resources aren't threatened. Move slowly. Stand still. Avoid sudden noises or chaotic movements.
A sneeze could send them scattering.
Lower yourself to their level. Bend down to get closer to the cat's level. Don't establish prolonged eye contact, as this is usually seen as a challenge. Slowly extend an arm, with your index finger pointing towards them. See if the kitty approaches. You are less threatening this way, and your body language shows that you are interested in interaction.
Don't stick your finger in front of the cat and move it back and forth. Let the cat control whether or not it wants to interact.
"Extending a finger is an initial non-threatening greeting. It mimics the nose-to-nose sniffing that two cats with friendly intentions do when they approach each other.
When you extend your finger, if the cat doesn't approach or smells it and retreats, then it's telling you that it doesn't want any further interaction. If the cat approaches and rubs against you, then it's communicating that it feels comfortable interacting.
Allow them to rub against you. Kittens who are starting to get accustomed to you will rub against your legs or shoes, ankles, or feet, or your outstretched hand. They are sharing their scent with you, and it's a sign that your befriending efforts are working!
If you receive a "kiss" with the nose, a light head-butt, cheek rubbing, or if it settles down next to you with part of its body touching you, then you're on the right track to forming a bond with the cat.
Purring is another good sign in most cases, but Johnson-Bennett points out that cats who are nervous or trying to calm a potential adversary may also purr as a calming mechanism. A happy purr will be accompanied by a relaxed body posture. Try some of the other suggestions below to continue the process of building a bond!
As a cat lover, you know that the idea that cats don't bond with their owners, don't show affection, or are distant and cold is nonsense. Numerous animal behaviorists, veterinarians, and cat parents know that cats form strong bonds with their families, including humans and other companion animals.
